on who I am...

I am...

...back to BLONDE! Hurrah. I had my hair dark for a good part of the Winter and with Spring being just around the corner I was in the mood to brighten things up. If you asked my 16 year old self If I would ever be blonde she would probably screamed profanities and flip you off. Good thing you didn't ask her. Huh? But anyways I am loving being back to this color and I can't be any more happier with my cut. There's nothing like the feeling you get with a new cut. Zing! 

... feeling homesick. I can't help getting choked up thinking about some of the people that I love most who are just so far away. Lately, there's nothing I wouldn't give to me able to get a hug from my dad or lie awake with my sister and just talk about everything and nothing or take a pie making class with my best girls. I try my best not to let it get me to sad but really, who am I kidding? It's sucks! 

...so amazed how people tend to hurt the ones that love them the most. Why is that? I'm seeing it happen to someone that I hold so dear to my heart. Someone that only deserves the best yet always has the worst luck. Worst of all is being in the middle of it and not really being able to do anything about it. I've always been the type of person that is very upfront and forward about situations and will look them right in the eye and then I try to fix it whether it has to do with me or not. I've been better at realizing that I can't fix everything but most the time I have to try. Sometimes I just have the urge to go up, grab them by the shoulders, shake them and scream in their face WHAT ARE YOU DOING? No, I've never actually done this...yet. All I can do is support and hope that some growing up happens and for a bright shinny light bulb to goes off. Love and respect your loved ones, man. All they want is what's best for you. The sooner you realize that the sooner you can start living. 

...always pondering my outlook on parenting. It's seriously something that I'll just sit and think about. I always try to think about what I would do. Most the time I know that I wouldn't really know what I would do until it actually happens. Parenting is such a complex thing. You don't truly understand until you start to have to really parent. Recently,  we made the decision that we are going to hold Sebastian back a year. He'll be turning five in July so technically he could be able to start kindergarten in September. However, with his speech delay we just thought another year would benefit him way more. Although, I have absolutely no doubt that our decision is the right one there's always that thought in the back of my mind I hope I'm doing the right thing. It can be daunting some times, at least for me, knowing that this little child counts on your choices. Doesn't matter though because I'm confident in what the future holds and all I can do is my best. Really, that's all we can do.

...on French Press number TWO. Knocked over and broke my first one. It scattered into pieces and so did my soul. No really. Of course, I got right on my computer and ordered an new one. You would think I'd learn my lesson and pay a little extra to buy one that is stainless steel so that it wouldn't have the misfortune of braking again. But no. I just bought the same exact one. I'm a sucker for the fun green color and love how it matches some of the other things in my kitchen. Have you tried French Press? I think Bodum should pay me commission for the amount of French Presses I've sold for them. I just talked another person into buying one last week!

...feeling like I can't have too many maxi skirts in my life right now. I swear they are my favorite. I want all kinds of colors and patterns. Gimme gimme.

...currently reading Dark Places by Gillian Flynn. The same author of Gone Girl that has been all the hype. I know for a fact that everyone says Gone Girl was an amazing book and I do intend to pick that up one of these days but for sake of being different I decided to try one of Gillian's other books. After reading the synopsis I was like yep, my kind of book fool.  That's exactly what was said in my head. Anyways, it's about a girl Libby who was the soul survivor of the “The Satan Sacrifice of Kinnakee, Kansas", well except for her fifteen year old brother who was the one who did the killing. Sooo yeah, there's that. This is my first book by Gillian Flynn and I am seriously in love with the writing. It's dark, weird and a thriller mystery. Have you read any of her books? 

...giddy about Breaking Dawn Part 2 finally coming out on DVD. Naturally I already pre-ordered it and with that I'll be receiving a kick ass bracelet. Bet ya'll are seething with jealousy. Part 2 was my favorite movie out of all of them. I was on the edge of my seat and when movies have me gasping for air well, that's a great movie.  

...thankful for a husband who knows when I need a little more cheering up than usual it's caa-razy how our spouses know us the best, a child who is constantly filling me with overwhelming love and is teaching me things all the time, Trader Joe's for filling my chocolate covered espresso bean dream (and no I won't share in case you are wondering, I know that I'm mean), and a happy simple life.

I am ending with this quotes from the book Under the Never Sky... "Love is like the sea, gentle and good sometimes, rough and terrible at others, but it's endless and stronger than the sky and the earth and everything in between". 

xoxo.